Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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