This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
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I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
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I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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