her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Randomize
