I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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