I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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