go do what you do best...puke behind churches
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
