Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
