Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
