is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
