You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
