Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
