At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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