he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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