Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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