I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
someone owes me an orgasm
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
