does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
