C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
