Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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