don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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