Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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