Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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