It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
