I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
