you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
