i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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