Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
