I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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