I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
