what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
