Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
