You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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