Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
