Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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