No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize