i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
