It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize