you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
