I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
