Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
