i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have fence marks all over my body
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
