Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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