there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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