I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Found the puke drawer
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
