I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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