super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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