Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Two words: blizzard sex
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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