she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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