just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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