remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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