her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
