have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
