He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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