I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
