Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
