I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Are we still banned from the library?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
