Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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