I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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