I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
