i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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