dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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