I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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