thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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