so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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